Recently I came across the article below on social media and it caused me to take pause. As a parent and as a therapist who studies parenting and parent/child relationships in depth, it has always been my belief and understanding that our children should come first. Parenting, notably positive parenting, is a significant protective factor against abuse and helps children be more resilient in the face of adverse experiences. However, the article below makes some very valid points that I feel bear conversation. I think it is important to note that over time, the purpose of having children has changed. Back in the day (waaaayyy back) people had children to work on the farm or to help with finances in some way. This usually resulted in large families where there was not a lot of individualized attention for any particular child. Survival was often a focus, and there was not too much time or energy spent on the touchy feely stuff. I believe this resulted in a generation of adults who wanted more for their children. More attention, more love, more kindness, just more.... Unfortunately, I believe the result has been to overcompensate to a fault. Having said that, I don't believe this is a conscious happening, I do believe this lives in the subconscious, however it does manifest in the actions of the present day. We as parents now are placing so much importance on our children and their role in our family that we are losing sight of the foundation. Is this the reason for increasing divorce rates, unsatisfying marriages/relationships, increased anxiety in children? I'm not sure, but I sure am beginning to wonder if we haven't gotten it all wrong in our attempt to get it right. I would love to hear your thoughts on this article and the topic in general!
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